TeddytheBear7

The gleaming moonlight between the clouds and this oak park bench beneath me. The snow begins to pepper the ground and the couples cling together tighter. The town around me is settling in for the night, fires and passion warm their houses. The snow crunches as footsteps come closer. Slowly, I rise and smile as your face is lit up by a streetlamp. "You're late again."

The sun slowly fades behind the hills, the grass before us shivers from the cold gusts. We sit and you play your music, the vibes travel through us and out for miles, painting our visions of the scenery in the color of sound. The soft piano and trumpets rock us back in forth, and soon we are swaying along, closing our eyes and letting the music shake our world. It's a cool scene to witness, just the music, the world, and us, for once we don't live in the cities. We have nothing to work to or for. Our life is but a dream and the vibes.

We aren't given power to rise. Society serves confusion to degrade us. Love and hate makes our harsh realities. Men and women suffer from bitterness, misery, hate. But we will take back our rights, we will claim our power, we will create a life worth living. So that Beauty and happiness, will rain down upon us.

This is unfair. Why do you get to have those so close to you? Why do all of you get to have someone to hang around with? Why are they better than me? I just want one person. I want a buddy to walk to class with. I want a pal to joke around with. I want someone who is willing to see me, who wants to exchange pleasantries. I may not be alone all of the time, but sometimes it really does feel like it. I watch others enjoy their links, and wish and desire that for myself. I want to live vicariously through them, it's almost enough. Almost. I just want one really close acquaintance. That's what I'd like, a friend.

I want to run to you, and cling so hard. When the dark skies creep over, and even the crickets won't talk, I can't help but claw my mind apart. These demons inside, my own thoughts and desires, I don't want them. But, they are me, and without you, I am shut up inside slowly killing myself. You are a light, bright and true. These things that you do, these little things, are enough to change my entire world. You are the rising sun, bathing my world in warmth.

You told me that you were all mine, that when you were alone you only thought of me. When you thought of love, I was the all. Today, you changed your tone, I wasn't number one anymore. Maybe I never was. Teach me how I'm supposed to forget you. You don't understand the pain you caused me. I spent these years falling deeper in love with you. And yet, it was all for nothing. I can't believe that, why couldn't you have hurt me before? This is too much for me to handle. I want to give you the world but you don't want me. I love you. I want to be with you. Please tell me how I'm supposed to forget, if I don't want to.

If I call you best friend, would that be ok? Can I see you again today? Without your presence, I feel weak, Like before, when I was alone. When the darkness in my heart, and the pain in my head, dragged me down. The silence of the night was brutal, sleep never came quick. I simply laid in bed and tore at my soul. It wasn't a life, one cannot call it that. It was... Well, I don't know what it was. But, now you are here. I'm desperate, I'm sorry. I just don't want to be alone anymore.

It's snowing today, remember what Christmas with me was like? I found the sweater you made me, remember how tacky but cute it was? I bought you a pair of earrings, remember how surprised you were? I made a snowman in our spot, remember how much snow falls by the steps? I wish we could share another winter. It's warm today, remember our first spring together? I went for a walk, remember taking the dogs to the park together? I saw a golden retriever, remember when ours pulled you into the pond? I laughed to myself, remember how upset you were? I had an extra shirt, remember how big it was on you? I wish you were here. It rained yesterday, r

It's not that I had to say good bye, I have done that before. I cried, I've always done that at these things. Memories flooded back from years past, times of fun and times of sadness. I stayed until I was the last to leave, I never leave early. It was raining this time, there's a tendency for that to happen. I even brought you flowers, the same bouquet of six roses I always get. This wasn't the first time I've been here, I have other friends here not too far away. It's happened so much, It's always been the same, so then why is it so hard? Why is it always so hard to bury friend?

I'm sorry I keep calling you, when I can't seem to leave it be. Your name is on my screen, your picture is always on my mind. I wish I could stop, give you up finally. I can't help but wait, maybe one day you'll run back to me. I'm sorry I keep calling you, when it's three in the morning. Sometimes, I just can't wait, but you always knew what to say. I keep getting lost, when is it going to be clear? Without your voice, I can't seem to make it out of the fog. I can't seem to find my way home, without your help. I'm sorry I can't wait. I'm sorry I can't stay safe. I'm sorry I always seem to break. I'm sorry I can't sing to you anymore. I